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The Day T.J. Kept Me Cool!

There are many experiences in my life that I could chalk up as janky, like the time I slept with a random girl who paid for my generosity in cigarettes and gas fare.  This article isn’t  about my sexual escapades however, but a miracle I witnessed outside my bed. Like the time my truck, a Ford Ranger XLT, overheated.

It was of course on a Sunday, when the only place open to get a part was some chain store. Of course they would have to “Special Order” the part, as if there weren’t enough of its kind massed produced in the merry ole’ land of Detroit. I had almost given up on making it to work on Monday morning. Which given my job at the time, would have been more of a relief rather than a burden. It was as I lay on my back, gravel digging into my spine, looking up at the confusing Ford/Mazda merger of stupidity in the engine compartment, that out of nowhere a dirty bearded man resembling the passion of the Christ superstar appeared. “Worry not, home depot has what you need” said the man. Shocked! I asked “what do you mean?” …

20150607_165927Moments later I found myself standing in the plumbing section of Home Depot, holding a fistful of brass fittings. But, “what does this mean?”, I asked myself. I heard an ominous voice say, “If you build it, she will run”.

Once home, the bearded figure appeared again. “Leave it upon me, Turbine Jesus to fix this debacle”. Astonished, I left my new mechanical savior to do his work, and wouldn’t you know it?! After a few beers and a grilled steak, I heard my Ford start up! Chugging like a frat boy during rush week. There in all her glory, my truck’s motor sang its sweet lullaby. Oh blessed be T.J. and all his glory! Needless to say, I was able take it to work on Monday, but work is a whole other story…

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Mike Robbins
The borderline between a derelict and an entrepreneur, Mike Robbins is a lyricist and consultant. His self proclaimed escapades are hard to prove with facts, but could quite possibly down in history. For more surrealism and ridiculousness, check him and his band mates out in Scholars & Scoundrels.

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