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Trailer Park Getaway

Working on the road you always meet the most interesting characters and live in places you probably never even imagined existed, like this straight up janky quality 12 lot trailer park I had the pleasure of vacationing in for 6 months while building giant white fans. I had seen a

How Not to be a Scientist

It was only days before a level 5 hurricane was supposed to hit the land penis of the United States when chief mechromancer and bullshit scientist Matt Martin had a seemingly brilliant idea to record wind speeds of the hurricane.  Using seemingly ancient technology of 3 plastic cups rotating in

Kim Jung Un Rallies Hurricanes in Caribbean Sea

Earlier this season Kim Jung Un is believed to have been colluding with hurricane rights activist groups in the Caribbean sea and Atlantic Ocean.  Working with these natural distractions has allowed the tyrannical leader to start his invasion into the pacific northwest of the United States.  North Korea has also

Autobiography of a Mad Man.

When I was young I fought in wars such as WWII, Vietnam, Brood War, and many in the medieval British empire via a computer. After all of that destruction I needed to help rebuild, so I embarked on a journey to save the planet from global warming by building hundreds

Toilet humor

"Here I sit broken hearted; I came to shit, but only farted." I thought I would share quotes I've discovered over the years from various escape pods scattered across the country. What a wonderful world we live in where after a long 12 hour day of working on the wind farm we

Varley Unchained

As I sit here listening to the soundtrack from GTA Vice City, I am reminded of a story involving something else from the the 80's - a trencher we call Varley.  We named it Varley after that fat old guy from the show Street Outlaws who's favorite thing to say is "We

The Day T.J. Kept Me Cool!

There are many experiences in my life that I could chalk up as janky, like the time I slept with a random girl who paid for my generosity in cigarettes and gas fare.  This article isn’t  about my sexual escapades however, but a miracle I witnessed outside my bed. Like the time

The Lawn Mower Miracle

When I was a boy, I didn't put much stock into Faith. Sure, I'd seen Angels in the Outfield enough times to sustain Danny Glover's career, but I was far from a believer in real-life miracles. Then, my lawn mower broke. When I say "broke", I don't mean old age had finally

Janky Headphone Fix

After a hard day expanding the energy nexus of the United States of America, Turbine Jesus, a local folk hero returned home to his modest establishment located within an all original 1982 single wide equipped with an air mattress and 10 mbps internet. With the intent of blessing the internet

Fun with Rams

I got a call earlier this week from my dad asking if I was available to take a look at one of his Bobcat loaders that apparently didn't work anymore because hydraulic fluid was vomiting out of the side of it like a 21 year old on his first night

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